The first time was for one week before I went to the Philippines.
The second time was after I left the Philippines, to spend my last days in Asia.
Now, why this entry is called "秘密". The truth is, I went for a third time back in September 2014.
That particular trip was never meant to happen. For 4 days, I left the country and came back. Was it a wild decision? Yes, it definitely was one of the most craziest decisions I made. Do I ever wish it never happened? No fucking way! If I never did that visit, I'd never be back. If anything, this was probably the most important trip I made. It made me realize how much I would fight to come back and made me realize that there was people out there who truly cared for me. It made me realize I had something to look forward to. It made me realize I had something to come back to.
Now, let's continue from the previous entry.
Why did I say "I went to see a guy"? Also, how is Trip 3 related to this point?
It was my reality check.
My initial plan was to go to Korea because I promised a guy that I would come to Korea. And that didn't go as planned whatsoever after a different turn of events (that I'm thankful for, someday we'll get to that).
Then there's people out there planning their trips out and tripping and stressing out. There's people that permanently leave their home country to reside in this country, leaving their friends and families behind. There's people working three jobs and trying to get an education in this new country.
Meanwhile, there's my spoiled self just running off to another country "because I can". I didn't leave anyone behind for good. I wasn't leaving for a long term stay. I'm just a brat that went overseas because "I had the money and found a cheap flight" and "also wanted to have an opportunity to visit my family's home country".
I almost sacrificed nothing. "Oh, I'm just on vacation."
As much as that wasn't the exact truth, I understand why I rubbed off as spoiled. Again, this is my apologies to some that may have thought I was a first class kimchi bitch that can throw money down to get out of her first world country to splurge more in the other country and check out cute guys. I can never say sorry enough to the people that may have gotten that message from me.
I definitely remember hearing "It's unfortunate you're only here for four days". I still remember that quote from a Korean player I met that time. Usually, people come and go. People sometimes come back eventually or sometimes...never.
That wasn't going to be my case. The only thing I thought to myself, "I will be back".
All I thought to myself was "See me in the winter". And it happened.
That first winter trip was one of the biggest turning points of my life. To be continued....
